"I hated the arousal,hated my body especially my penis cause it was a constant reminder. the first abuser called me a little perv I didn't know what that was but I was sure it was not good. so arousal became not good and it was a pretty constant thing so after a while I was NOT good. the fact is though it is simply a matter of biology,and experience. pleasurable feelings, even mixed with painfu" . . . .