. "he is why I try to stay a step away from anything related to pain, which often includes pleasure.Though there was a time not too long ago that I thought maybe I really am just a total masochist, and I even looked up all this stuff about it (obvs, as how can I have a feeling w/o backing it up with internet research?), but then realized maybe he is OK but totally impractical for daily life, or r" . . .