. "I???m sure you???re right, that what matters is a real connection with the deceased and that what is awful is an embarrassed clergyman trying to talk about someone he ??? or of course she ??? didn???t know.Kate, my friend Margot, whose wonderful funeral I went to in Birmingham last summer, was buried in the sort of place you describe as your mother???s resting-place, not a ???churchyard??? or a ??" . . .