BDSM???and being punished, controlled, and made to serve???are completely different from abuse and oppression.And consent is a key piece of that, yes, but there are a lot of other specific, clear, and measurable differences, too.Read the ???BDSM is Not Abuse??? list released by the Lesbian Sex Mafia, one of the oldest women???s BDSM groups in the country, based in New York City.