If one partner is just going ???nope, not doing it, and OK I guess I???ll grudgingly do this other thing that might get you off, but I???ll do it in a half-assed way that isn???t focused on giving you pleasure at all???, then that???s not an example of a good and loving man whose meanie girlfriend is being tit for tat with him, it???s an example of a man who is selfish in bed.